Need Help Finding Your Size? See Size Chart Below
Join the secret society of the Lolcow Illuminati with our exclusive Members T-Shirt. This enigmatic design features our sacred cow wearing iconic 3D glasses, crowned by the all-seeing eye and surrounded by golden laurel wreaths of wisdom. The perfect uniform for members of our elite fan community who know the truth: the cows have been watching all along. This mystical mashup of internet culture and conspiracy aesthetics creates the ultimate insider badge for true Lolcow Illuminati devotees.
Key Features:
- Premium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton construction (Heather colors contain polyester)
- Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz./yd.² | 142 g/m²) with just the right amount of stretch
- Bold front print featuring the sacred Lolcow Illuminati emblem
- Inside label with branding
- Pre-shrunk to maintain perfect fit wash after wash
- Side-seamed construction for a modern, contoured fit
- Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability
- Unisex design that flatters all body types
- Breathable fabric ideal for year-round wear
- Superior print quality that won't fade or crack
This conversation-starting piece is your official membership card to the Lolcow Illuminati fan community. Whether you're attending secret meetings, spreading the good word of the enlightened cow, or just want to confuse the uninitiated, this shirt declares your allegiance to the most exclusive fan club on the internet. The mystical bovine sees all, knows all, and approves of your fashion choices.
Each t-shirt is made on demand especially for you, reducing overproduction and supporting sustainable practices. Sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US, our shirts maintain high quality standards while supporting ethical manufacturing.
Show your membership in the Lolcow Illuminati, connect with fellow believers, and stay comfortable in this perfect everyday t-shirt that proves you're part of something bigger—something with horns and an all-seeing eye.
T-Shirt Size Guide
Measurements in Inches
| Size |
Length |
Width |
Chest |
| XS |
27 |
16½ |
31-34 |
| S |
28 |
18 |
34-37 |
| M |
29 |
20 |
38-41 |
| L |
30 |
22 |
42-45 |
| XL |
31 |
24 |
46-49 |
| 2XL |
32 |
26 |
50-53 |
| 3XL |
33 |
28 |
54-57 |
| 4XL |
34 |
30 |
58-61 |
| 5XL |
35 |
31 |
62-65 |
Measurements in Centimeters
| Size |
Length |
Width |
Chest |
| XS |
68.6 |
42 |
78.7-86.4 |
| S |
71.1 |
45.7 |
86.4-94 |
| M |
73.7 |
50.8 |
96.5-104.1 |
| L |
76.2 |
55.9 |
106.7-114.3 |
| XL |
78.7 |
61 |
116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL |
81.3 |
66 |
127-134.6 |
| 3XL |
83.8 |
71.1 |
137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL |
86.4 |
76.2 |
147.3-155 |
| 5XL |
89 |
78.7 |
157.5-165 |
Fit Guide
-
Classic Unisex Fit: This t-shirt offers a comfortable standard fit suitable for all genders
-
True to Size: The pre-shrunk fabric ensures the size you order is the size that fits
-
Recommendation: For a more relaxed look, consider ordering one size up
All measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.
